Pages

Thursday 19 March 2020

How do the different aspects of film affect it?

Since our Creative Writing had been finished we have moved on to studying film. We have been working through google slides to understand different aspects. In the most recent set, we have been tasked to answer questions with certain points given for us to discuss based on a video also provided. 

How does tone work in film?


Tone, otherwise known as brightness, refers to the lighting used within the film to provide or create emotions based on its use. By turning the brightness down on a subject you see the subject in a more serious or sad light based on the varying context provided. This differs with being provided with brighter lighting which creates a happier or humorous scene. This allows directors to control the feelings that the audience experiences. 
There are three ways to control the toning within a film, exposure, lighting and art direction. Lighting is how you light the scene to provide a darker setting or a lighter setting. Exposure is how much light you allow the camera to see. Art direction is how many colourations or lighting difference you have between people, props, clothing and setting.
For example, within the beginning of The Godfather, the family is gathered in one room discussing a dark matter. This room is heavily underlit and has a large contrast with the white on the suits of the men within the room. The only light comes through dim lamps and bright light filtering through the blinds on the windows. This changes when they change scenes to show one of the men's daughters getting married right outside. This shows us the varied lighting techniques and the director likely used it to provide different emotions for the varying settings and scene.

How is contrast used in the film?


Contrast is the state of two largely opposing objects, colours or states. This is largely used with colourations within a film with props, wardrobe and lighting. Directors use contrast to provide feeling to a shot or scene. 
For example, within Spike Jonze's ad for Apple's Homepod, it begins with little contrast. The lighting is minimal and the clothing worn by everyone is dark and inexpressive. This changes when the woman shown throughout the ad arrives home. After this point, the contrast to the beginning of the ad begins and she begins to interact with the Homepod. She takes her jacket off to reveal a bright white shirt and the lighting soon becomes brighter as well. This lighting provides a better view of her face and allows us to see a much nicer looking setting than earlier on. Contrast to the beginning becomes even greater as the woman's world delves into this fantastical reality with bright colours as the room stretches and expands. The lighting becomes sporadic and bright. 
What Spike Jonze was likely wanting us to see through the contrast of the dull and dreary beginning and this fantastical bright ending was how your life would likely change with this product. It also shows us how happy she is with the Homepod there at home and when she is out and without it.

How does the insert shot work in film?


The insert shot is one that is used to focus on a certain point of the shot. It is most often used on an object or a set of objects when there is something the director wants us to notice about the current happenings.
Three main aspects are addressed when creating an insert shot. Composition, colour, and timing. Composition in an insert shot has to do with shot size, shot angle, and camera movement. Within the Coen Brothers The Big Lebowski they use the insert shots near the beginning of the to foreshadow something bad happening to a character. This is shown when a character is bowling and gets a strike and later on bowls and leaves only one pin standing. The foreshadowing leads to the character becoming injured later in the film. The brothers use colour as a detail later on in the film as a piece of the insert shot. Bright colour and dark colour contrast are used to highlight certain aspects that the directors want us to pay attention to. For example, there is a scene within The Big Lebowski, that shows the Dude being thrown in a car and shown a cut toe inside gauze wrapping through an insert shot. This toe's toenail is painted bright green. This relates back to an earlier point in the film where the owner of the toe is seen painting their toenails. They use green because of the colour contrast compared to the dark blood staining the gauze. The final aspect of timing has to do with the length of the insert shot. For example, in another scene, the Dude is seen attempting to throw a cigarette butt of some kind out of the closed window. It instead falls into his lap. An insert shot is then used to focus on his crotch where the butt has fallen for half a second. This is used to give the viewer the same amount of processing time as the character within the story.

How does the over-the-shoulder shot work?


An over-the-shoulder shot (or OTS) is one that is taken over the shoulder of a character to connect them or show that connection. 
Within the series West World, one scene shows the characters Dr Ford and Teresa having a meeting. At the beginning of this scene, the two characters begin on the same page. They talk about a concept which they appear to have agreeable views on. During the portion of this particular scene, here are many intentional OTS shots. This shows the connection that the two characters are having over the conversation. As the conversation continues, Teresa begins to doubt Dr Ford's creation and the shots begin to change from the OTS shots shown earlier on. At first, it is a small zoom-in on the character Dr Ford with the use of the Dolly, then it progresses. This shot style is constantly used, the OTS and dolly, as the conversation changes. Soon the Dolly presses so far forward that both the characters cannot be seen at once from the interchanging points of view. This is used to represent the characters disconnection as they soon begin to disagree over the conversation. The zooming-in with the use of the Dolly eventually stops on both characters and shows them both completely isolated from one another. This shows their complete disconnection since the conversation has reached its near end. 

How is the Dutch angle used?


The Dutch angle shot is one that is tilted along the x-axis and is used during an unsettling or an unbalanced scene to represent that it is as said. This shot was created by German expressionists in the early 1900s. 
Three steps need to be taken to create this shot and use it effectively. First, directors need to identify a point within the script that is unsettling or unbalanced. Secondly, they need to consider their choice on the angle. Thirdly, they need to identify ways that they can enhance the dutch angle. Four main varied aspects can enhance the shot and scene.
  1. The degree of the tilt of the dutch angle. The more off-balance, the more unbalanced the scene feels.
  2. The camera height of the dutch angle. The lower the angle is, the more power it gives the subject. The higher, the less power it gives them.
  3. The lens choice when filming the dutch angle. Using a wide-angle lens will show a different view compared to a standard lens.
  4. The depth of field when filming the dutch angle. The focus of the subject can dramatically change the scene.
This is all to make sure that the director does not use the angle in such a way to confuse the viewer of what they are seeing or meant to be realising about the shot.

How does production design work in a film?


Production design can be defined as the overall finished look of the production, with the placements of props, set design, lighting and use of wardrobe.
Production design helps us to see certain aspects of the film and/or shot, these are:
The mood of the scene. The set design, props, lighting, and use of wardrobe are used to provide the context of how the viewer should see the scene. When shown an empty room with a character with plain clothing and dull lighting and don't take much from the scene intentionally. However, when we do take a closer look at it, we can see that empty space does not make space for feeling about this character seen. If we were to contrast this to a different circumstance where the character is seen in a cluttered apartment with bright clothing, bright lighting, and unique props, we would take different feelings away from this. The set is full and bustling with unique objects. You take away a different feeling from this scene.
The state of a character can be reflected through the listed aspects by giving us a view of how that person lives. If we were to see a dirty room with dull clothing askew across the floor and little lighting, we would likely assume that this person is not in a good or healthy state. What we could gather about this person is that they are not bothered by the state of this room and that can reflect many different quality's about the person. These qualities can be laziness, depression, or even loneliness. In contrast, if we were to look at a perfectly clean room with bright lighting, little clutter and no seen wardrobe we could likely presume other qualities. These qualities could be cleanliness, perfectionism, or even being rich.
The story's theme is used to provide a deeper meaning or subtext throughout the scene. Taking Jurassic Park as an example, in one scene of the movie, letters are projected onto the dinosaur. What many people don't know is that that writing is dinosaur DNA, this is an example of the subtext. This movie from a simpler point of view shows that dinosaurs are monsters, however, by delving deeper it shows that the real monsters are humans as they manipulate DNA. The theme of the movie is humanity's attempt to control nature and project onto living beings.

How does film blocking work in films?


Blocking is the precise staging of actors within films and within the frame of the camera. 
When using blocking three aspects need to be considered, space, shapes, and lines. Space is the distance each subject has from each other and the camera. Someone closer to the camera would be more imposing than the subjects further away from the camera. Those subjects further away would be seen as less significant than the ones closer to the camera. With shapes, three basic ones are used for the arrangement of subjects, circles, squares and triangles. Each of these holds emotional significance. Circles are used to make something feel safer and inclusive. Squares create limited space and close someone in. Triangles are sharp and can make the scene aggressive or point towards a subject. Finally, lines, lines are used to show dynamics within a scene. Within a film, there is a major power difference between the character standing and looking down and the character laying there, vulnerable to what the standing character may do. Blocking particularly helps to show us what the characters are doing and what they mean through their actions and words. 

How do visual motifs work in film?

A motif is any reoccurring element that has symbolic significance within a story. Motifs are used because they show that the story is able to operate on more than one level of significance. Take the Silence of the Lambs for an example, throughout that movie there is the reoccurring symbol of the traditional American colours. Within this film, the Buffalo Bill character shown is a play on the real Buffalo Bill Cody. This person was someone regarded as a traditional American symbol of the Wild West. This was a deliberate idea to idealise that character as a renewed horrible being. This is all used to show the films main statement. America is not innocent. The colours appear again and again, on Buffalo Bill's wall, on Katherine Martin's missing statement over the news Buffalo Bill has the American colours over the image and more throughout the film. Speaking of Katherine Martin, before the incident that resulted in her missing, she was driving and listening to the song American Girl, this is an example of an audio motif that was used to amplify the visual motifs. 
These motifs all lead to an example of a great work of art as they are used. This is because what makes art great is the reoccurring symbolism throughout the works and how each of them is used to amplify the work as a whole. Every moment is an opportunity to amplify your vision and give others the opportunity to see what you can see.

How does colour work in film?


Colour in a film is used to elicit emotions from viewers as they identify the emotions they associate with it. Three things need to be considered. 

  1. The hue of the colour. Take the Matrix for example. This particular movie has a green hue throughout the entirety of it. This is due to it being a digital world. Also because people accossiate the colour green with coding. The green is slightly off-putting though. This is so the colour can reflect the state of the world. 
  2. The intensity of the colour (saturation). The intensity of the hue of the film effects it by showing us the state of the movie. If high saturation is used, you can clearly see what is happening. Most people would assume that everything is positive and okay. However, if there was low saturation, and the colour was dark, there would be very different assumptions. 
  3. The brightness of the colour. The brightness of a colour used in a film should be considered because that pertains to the brightness of the overall scene and how much attention it draws. Using darker colours will not draw attention without the contrast against the brighter colours and vice versa.

How does a POV shot work?


A POV shot is one taken from the perspective of a character in order to show the audience the view of the world as the character sees it. 
A 'point of thought' shot is one where instead of showing us the characters point of view, it shows us the world from the way the characters think it. This shot is frequently used by Steven Spielberg and spawned from an adaption of the POV shot. Within Raiders of the Lost Ark, one particular scene called the basket chase scene has many opportunities to show us a POV shot. However, there is no POV shot. While there is one that appears to be, the eye-line does not match up, instead, Jones runs towards the sound of Marian's voice. In the next shot, we come eye-to-eye with Indiana Jones. But, we still get no POV shot. The audience wants to connect with Indiana and see through his eyes in this time but they cannot because Indiana wants to see with Marian but he cannot. Throughout this, the directors show us how Indiana is thinking and not showing us how he is seeing. This is important because there's a time where we need to see through the character's eyes and there's a time where we need to see what the character is thinking and feeling.

How do establishing shots work in film?


The establishing shot is the opening shot of a scene, usually of landscape or the setting. The shot is used to establish a connection between the character(s) and the setting. When creating an establishing there are three steps that need to be taken.
  1. Envision. Part of making the storyboard is the ideas surrounding what you want to create. The setting and the shot will help the audience envision how they will feel about the remainder of the film.
  2. Plan. Have a written form reminding you of how you want to proceed with the establishing shot. Mainly reminding you of the aspects such as camera shot, camera angle, tone, etc. Another point about planning is research, every filming location will have its positives and negatives. Needing something like the sun to set on a building will need research to figure out if that is possible. 
  3. Efficiency. Creating a shot that will only last for two seconds of the movie is inefficient and not very well-thought-out. A wide shot that is also an establishing shot will always be expensive and having it not do it a job well is stupid. The establishing shot will be expensive because of everything you see. Most have views of the landscapes or time-specific necessities, this is an expensive and inefficient if its underwhelming.

Wednesday 11 March 2020

Creative Writing 1.4 Internal Assessment for English 2020

NOTE: This was written in 2020 and was an assessment from 2020 that I forgot to upload or made into a draft, I don't remember.

Recently we have been working towards the first draft of our English Creative Writing Assessment. I have completed the first draft here. Out of the four different kinds of Creative Writing Assessments I chose to do one that lasted over three different time periods, before a murder, during a murder and after a murder. Our word limit was exactly 1000 words, and I did, of course, go over that, however, the first draft has been shortened to 999 words exactly. The dashes symbolise a change in time period.

*STARTING*

The fire would be all her fault, just as the others had been.

A small place, barely enough for one person. But, there it stood. With battered walls and weak hinges on its doors, the house was desolate. Inside, you could smell the dust leaking from every plank of wood. Across from it only a single road, not anything else. The dirt was flattened in one skinny strip, where a motorbike frequently drove. The trees were somehow alive, even in the dry area. It was hard to believe anybody would have ever lived in such a place, let alone two people. However, they did. They were ‘happy’ in such a small place. It was a while from town, but they both enjoyed the distance. Abe especially.

“Hey honey,” his voice was slurred, coming from the couch he sat on while Lee stood in the kitchen, leaning on the counter and scrolling through her phone.

“Yeah?” She only had to act for so long, so she could have her fun in playing with the fear in his head.

“Think ya could chuck me a beer?” Why couldn’t he get him himself? Oh wait, it was because she was a woman.
“Of course, sweetheart,” she dragged it from the fridge and cracked it open. She scrunched her nose at the putrid smell and the white smoke pouring from its lips.

“I was gonna head out to town, you want me to grab anything for ya?” she mentioned, handing him the beer.

“Nah,” he slurred with a breath that stunk of the putrid smell, “I’ll be perfectly fine.”

Perfect, she could gather the first of the equipment on the list.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was hard to believe that watching fire could be so entertaining, even after all the fire she had seen in her time. Lee saw nothing but beauty in the fire as it tore down the house. Cracking, crashes, and the distant thunder of an oncoming storm. The fire licked up the boards and glowed with a burning passion. Even with how far away she stood she could feel the heat against her skin. She gripped leather gloves in her hands tight, almost enough to tear them apart.

Anyone who saw her here would think she was the devil or a witch. Cigarette burns on her wrists in small circles with bright colours, baggy skin across her face, and a patch of hair missing from her head. The patch was replaced by more wrinkled skin that was a slight pink compared to the tan skin across most of her body. She had created more fire in her life and she was decorated with proof of them and ones she hadn’t started.

The fire would cover the tracks. The only clue was the stink of rotting, burning, flesh. That wouldn’t matter though. No one had been out here for a while, besides them of course. She would have to find another place to stay, but that would soon bear her mark too, the stink of ash and burning flesh.

She still had one to go. And she was going to have the most fun with her.

Was it the first fire? No, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Was it the first body? No, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Lee felt nothing now as she swung her leg over the motorcycle and sped off, leaving his bones as dust and her memories with them both meaningless.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Must be a plain ol’ psycho,’ reasoned the officer. Standing at a pile of ash was definitely different than rounding up the kids who ditched school.

“Can’t be no plain Jane with a fire like tha’, musta had a problem with him.” A thick southern accent surrounded them both.

“Him?”

“The girlie who lived here, saw her once, talked ‘bout a boy who didn’t like the town, much less the city.” The first looked confused. Had she started the fire? And where was the boy if she did?

“Ya really think she did it? Why?” Now it was the second man’s turn to look confused, how couldn’t she? They were the only ones out near these parts, who would burn down a place in the middle of nowhere?

“It’s obvious,” he reasoned, staring at his partner in disbelief, “Can’t ya smell nothin’? Stinks like the ol’ butchers after a smoking, she left ‘em in there and booked it, probably a while ago too,”

“Can’t exactly bring tha’ as evidence though, she’s a suspect, but she ain’t coming back anytime soon if she’s a smart one like ya say,”

“It's’ a shame, seemed like a decent gal.”

The officer couldn’t see the falseness in her wolfish grin, or how she had a resting face that could raise hell. The officer couldn’t hear the falseness when she giggled at him mentioning marriage, or how she had menace in her voice when dismissing the idea. The officer couldn’t feel the warmth that others in the town held when he spoke to them or the chill down his spine that others felt when they saw her.

Unfortunately, it was something that they would never indulge again. Learning of the case, officials took over and sent in forensics. They asked questions, and it felt weird for the two officers to be in the opposite position. But, in their small town, it was the most action they had seen in so long, that they would talk for months. The officials would search the town but she was long gone, tyres racing down the roads towards a small diner.

The diner was silent as she pulled in. The woman clad in black leather looked like something from a movie as she had parked her motorbike. Only the man who dressed in a black tuxedo knew of her purpose here. To gather the information he would provide her with. She strutted in with power in each step, and he waved her over. She sat with hunched shoulders and a dead stare.

“So, where is she?”

*ENDING*

Task One

Our next task is to create the second draft by completing separate tasks such as inserting words or using the senses to evoke a sense of place. We need to complete six of these tasks and improve upon the draft. The changes will be marked by highlighter depending on the change made. The tasks I have chosen to use to change and improve my writing are:

Use time-related specifics
Describe settings to deepen the mood
Use settings to reflect the characters nature
Make characters introductions memorable
Show characters through what they say and omit
Replacing words


The following piece is one that has been altered from the original and uses the seen highlighting to represent the various changes within the writing.

*STARTING*

The fire would be all her fault, just as every other one had been.


A small place, barely enough for one person. But, there it stood. With battered walls and weak hinges on its doors; the house was desolate. Inside, you could smell the dust leaking from every plank of wood. The dirt was flattened in one narrow strip from the road, where a motorbike frequently drove. The trees were orange and brown with age, decaying in the post-summer heat. The paint on the mailbox had begun to peel and crumble under the sun. It was hard to believe anybody would have ever lived in such a place, let alone two people. However, they did. They were ‘happy’ in such a small place. It was a while from town, but they both enjoyed the distance. Abe especially.

“Hey honey,” a slurred voice came from the couch. While Lee stood, leaning on the kitchen counter and scrolling through her phone. Images of missing persons and arson reports flashed onto her screen.


“Yeah?” She only had to act for so long, so she could have her fun in playing with the fear in his head.

“Think ya could chuck me a beer?” 

“Of course, sweetheart,” she dragged it from the fridge and cracked it open aggressively while still outside of his line of sight. She scrunched her nose at the putrid smell and the white smoke pouring from its lips.

“I was gonna head out to town, you want me to grab anything for ya?” she mentioned, flashing a grin and handing him the beer.

“Nah,” he slurred, stinking of the putrid smell, “I’ll be fine.”

Now she could gather the first of the equipment.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lee saw nothing but beauty in the fire as it tore down the house. Cracks, crashes, and the distant thunder of an oncoming storm sounded from everywhere around her. The fire licked up the boards and glowed with a burning passion. Even with how close she stood she couldn’t feel the heat against her skin. She gripped leather gloves in her hands tight, almost enough to tear them apart. She strutted out the remains of the door.

Any believer who saw her here would think she was the Devil or a witch. Cigarette burns on her wrists in light pink tones, baggy skin lined her face, and a patch of hair was missing from her head. The patch was replaced by more wrinkled skin that was a slight pink compared to the tan skin across her body. She had created more fire and she was decorated with proof of it, as well as ones she hadn’t started.
The fire would cover any tracks. The only clue was the stink of burning flesh. That wouldn’t matter though. No one had been out here for a while, besides them. She would have to find another place to stay; that would soon bear her mark too. The stink of ash and burning flesh.

She still had one to go. And she was going to have the most fun with her.

Was it the first fire? No, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Was it the first body? No, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Lee felt nothing now as she swung her leg over the motorcycle and sped off, leaving his bones as dust and her memories with them both meaningless.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Must be a plain ol’ psycho," reasoned the officer, yelling over the storm. Looking at the pile of ash and deteriorating foundations, he realised that it was definitely not in the typical job description.

“Can’t be no plain Jane with a fire like tha’, musta had a problem with him.” A thick southern accent surrounded them.

“Him?”

“The girlie who lived here, saw her once, talked ‘bout a boy who didn’t like the town, much less the city.” The first looked confused. Had she started the fire?

“Ya really think she did it? Why?” Now it was the second officer’s turn to look confused. They were the only ones out near these parts, who would burn down a place in the middle of nowhere?

“It’s obvious,” he reasoned, staring at his partner in disbelief, “Can’t ya smell nothin’? Stinks like the ol’ butchers after a smoking, she left ‘em in there and booked it, probably a while ago too,”

“Can’t exactly bring tha’ as evidence though, but she ain’t coming back anytime soon if she’s a smart one,”

“It's’ a shame, seemed like a decent gal.”

The officer couldn’t see the falseness in her wolfish grin, or how her stone-cold face could raise hell. The officer couldn’t hear the falseness when she giggled at him mentioning relationships, or how she had menace in her voice when she dismissed him. The officer couldn’t feel the warmth that others in the town held when he spoke or the chill down his spine that others felt when they saw her.


Unfortunately, it was something that they would never indulge again. Learning of the case, officials took over and sent in professionals. They searched but she was long gone. Her tyres racing down the dirt roads towards a fancy restaurant.

The restaurant was loud and bustling as she pulled in. The woman clad in ratty leather looked like a scene from a movie as she had parked her motorbike. Only the man who dressed in a tuxedo worth the restaurant itself knew of her purpose here. To gather the information he would provide her with.

Her boots thundered against the costly carpet. Looking through the restaurant, she felt her shoulders go tight. A place like this was his territory, with candles lining the tables, men in tuxedos and women in shiny dresses. Each had a different, more expensive-looking drink than the last. She sat and leaned onto the expensive table cloth, forearms against it and her hands clasped firmly in front of her. After a long silence, she finally asked her question with a dead stare into his eyes.

“So, where is she?”

*ENDING*
This is the first altered version of my first draft. There are two more sets of tasks to complete before it is ready to be submitted. The next is a much simpler task. We need to pick out different types of sentences within the story and show them. Or alternatively, write them into the story. Some of these will likely be shown with other sentences not of their type to give context.
The next sentences will explain the scene they are from, what the sentence type is and whether or not it is was within the story before this task.

Task Two

SENTENCE TYPE ONE

The short sentence is one that is incorporated into a story for something quick. It grabs attention. The rules are that it includes five or fewer words.

“Was it the first fire? No, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Was it the first body? No, and it wouldn’t be the last.”


This is included in the second part of the story. This is where Lee burns the house down with Abe inside, it provides context that she is experienced and gives an air of mystery to Lee. It also uses the language feature of repetition with the pairs of sentences working together. The second sentences on each line are there to provide context. They are not there as short sentences. These two examples were already included within the story and I did not have to write them in.

SENTENCE TYPE TWO

The adverb start is one that uses an adverb to begin the sentence. Quickly, it adds to the interest you already have in the story. The rules are that you begin with an adverb, place a comma, and then continue with the sentence.

“Unfortunately, it was something that they would never indulge again.’’

This is included in the third part of the story. This is near the end of the scene with the officers and is used to explain what happened. It then goes onto explain what the town did about what they thought Lee had done. This particular sentence has not been provided with context as it is easily a stand-alone sentence. This example was already within the story and I did not have to write it in.

SENTENCE TYPE THREE

The -ING start is one that uses a word ending in a -ing form of a verb. Speaking through this form of a sentence requires you to state something beginning with the -ing form of the verb, place a comma and then continue with the rest of the statement.

“Looking at the pile of ash and deteriorating foundations, he realised that it was definitely not in the typical job description.”

This sentence is also included in the third part of the story. It is near the end of the scene with the officers and is used as a part of the introduction as to what the officers are doing as to what happened. This sentence has also not been provided with context as it is easily a stand-alone sentence as well. This example was not already within the story and I did have to write it in, as the original sentence did not include the pause with the comma as required.

SENTENCE TYPE FOUR

The W-start sentence is one that uses words beginning with W, such as who, what, when, where, why, and whereas. When used correctly, this type of sentence makes writing sounds more knowledgeable and thoughtful. The rules of this sentence are simply to begin with a word beginning with W.

“While Lee stood, leaning on the kitchen counter and scrolling through her phone.”

This sentence is included in the first part of the story. It is within the middle of the scene that introduces us to both Lee and Abe. After this sentence it begins to introduce us to both Lee and Abe’s typical character as Abe is a drunk and Lee is foreshadowed to not be the best person. This sentence has also not been provided with context as it is easily a stand-alone sentence as well. This example was already within the story and I did not have to write it in.

SENTENCE TYPE FIVE

The semicolon sentence is one that replaces a conjunction such as and or but with a semicolon inorder to connect two independent sentences. The rules for this sentence are, as stated, to include a semicolon in place of a conjunction when appropriate.

“She would have to find another place to stay; that would soon bear her mark too.”

This sentence is included in the second part of the story. It is the very middle of the scene with Lee standing in the burning house and the paragraph goes onto describe that because they were in the middle of nowhere that it would take time for anyone to even notice the happening. This sentence has also not been provided with context as it is easily a stand-alone sentence as well. This example was not already within the story and I did have to write it in, as the original sentence did not include the semicolon as required.

Task Three

The final task includes changing the punctuation of the sentences so that they fit better into the story. This can include changing conjunctions and separating sentences when necessary. Each sentence will be taken and looked at to see if it needs to be changed so it can have a more interesting effect. This will mostly change some of the longer sentences. When changed you will see the previous sentence or sentences in brackets directly above the changed sentence as they will not be in paragraphs. They will all be put back into format at the very end so that it can complete the final product. I will also be deleting sentences that I find unnecessary. So if there appears to be anything missing, you know where it went.

*STARTING*

(The fire would be all her fault, just as every other one had been.)
The fire would be all her fault. Just as every other one had been.

A small place, barely enough for one person.

But, there it stood.
With battered walls and weak hinges on its doors; the house was desolate.

Inside, you could smell the dust leaking from every plank of wood.

(The dirt was flattened in one narrow strip from the road, where a motorbike frequently drove.)
The dirt was flattened in one narrow strip from the road where a motorbike frequently drove.

The trees were orange and brown with age, decaying in the post-summer heat.

The paint on the mailbox had begun to peel and crumble under the sun.

It was hard to believe anybody would have ever lived in such a place; let alone two people.

However, they did.

They were ‘happy’ in such a small place.
(It was a while from town, but they both enjoyed the distance.)
It was a while from town. They both enjoyed the distance.

Abe especially.

“Hey honey,” a slurred voice came from the couch.

While Lee stood, leaning on the kitchen counter and scrolling through her phone.

Images of missing persons and arson reports flashed onto her screen.

(“Yeah?” She only had to act for so long, so she could have her fun in playing with the fear in his head.)
“Yeah?” She only had to act for so long. Then she could have her fun in playing with the fear in his head.

“Think ya could chuck me a beer?”

(“Of course, sweetheart,” she dragged it from the fridge and cracked it open aggressively while still outside of his line of sight.)
“Of course, sweetheart,” she dragged it from the fridge. Cracking it open aggressively while she was outside of his sight.

She scrunched her nose at the putrid smell and the white smoke pouring from its lips.

(“I was gonna head out to town, you want me to grab anything for ya?” she mentioned, flashing a grin and handing him the beer.)
“I was gonna head out to town, you want me to grab anything for ya?” she flashed a camera-worthy grin and handed him the beer.

(“Nah,” he slurred, stinking of the putrid smell, “I’ll be fine.”)
“Nah, I’ll be fine,” he slurred. Lee tried to not back away at the putrid smell.

(Now she could gather the first of the equipment.)
At least now she could begin to gather the equipment.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lee saw nothing but beauty in the fire as it tore down the house.

Cracks, crashes, and the distant thunder of an oncoming storm sounded from everywhere around her.

The fire licked up the boards and glowed with a burning passion.

Even with how close she stood she couldn’t feel the heat against her skin.

(She gripped the leather gloves in her hands tight, enough to tear them apart.)
She gripped leather gloves in her hands tight. Almost enough to tear them apart.

She strutted out the remains of the door.

Any believer who saw her here would think she was the Devil or a witch.

(Cigarette burns on her wrists in light pink tones, baggy skin lined her face, and a patch of hair was missing from her head.)
Cigarette burns lining her wrists in a light pink, baggy skin made her face droop, and hair was missing from parts of her scalp.

The patch was replaced by more wrinkled skin that was a slight pink compared to the tan skin across her body.

(She had created more fire and she was decorated with proof of it; as well as ones she hadn’t started.)
She had created more fire and she was decorated with proof of it; as well as ones she hadn’t started.

The fire would cover any tracks.

She would have to find another place to stay; that would soon bear her mark too.

The stink of ash and burning flesh.

She still had one to go.

And she was going to have the most fun with her.

Was it the first fire?

No, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Was it the first body?

No, and it wouldn’t be the last.

(Lee felt nothing now as she swung her leg over the motorcycle and sped off, leaving his bones as dust and her memories with them both meaningless.)
Lee felt nothing now as she swung her leg over the motorcycle and sped off. Leaving his bones as dust and her memories with them both meaningless.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Must be a plain ol’ psycho,'' reasoned the officer, yelling over the storm.

Looking at the pile of ash and deteriorating foundations, he realised that it was definitely not in the typical job description.

“Can’t be no plain Jane with a fire like tha’, musta had a problem with him.”

A thick southern accent surrounded them.

“Him?”

“The girlie who lived here, saw her once, talked ‘bout a boy who didn’t like the town, much less the city.”

The first looked confused.

Had she started the fire?

“Ya really think she did it? Why?”

Now it was the second officer’s turn to look confused.

(They were the only ones out near these parts; who would burn down a place in the middle of nowhere?)
They were the only ones out near these parts; who would burn down a place in the middle of nowhere?

(“It’s obvious,” he reasoned, staring at his partner in disbelief, “Can’t ya smell nothin’? Stinks like the ol’ butchers after a smoking, she left ‘em in there and booked it, probably a while ago too,”)
“It’s obvious,” he reasoned, staring at his partner in disbelief. “Can’t ya smell nothin’? Stinks like the ol’ butchers after a smoking, she left ‘em in there and booked it, probably a while ago too,”

“Can’t exactly bring tha’ as evidence though, but she ain’t coming back anytime soon if she’s a smart one,”

“It's’ a shame, seemed like a decent gal.”

(The officer couldn’t see the falseness in her wolfish grin, or how her stone-cold face could raise hell.)
The officer couldn’t see the falseness in her wolfish grin or how her stone-cold face could raise hell.

(The officer couldn’t hear the falseness when she giggled at him mentioning relationships, or how she had menace in her voice when she dismissed him.)

The officer couldn’t hear the falseness when she giggled at him mentioning relationships or the menace in her voice when she dismissed him.

The officer couldn’t feel the warmth that others in the town held when he spoke or the chill down his spine that others felt when they saw her.

Unfortunately, it was something that they would never indulge again.

Learning of the case, officials took over and sent in professionals.

They searched but she was long gone.

Her tyres racing down the dirt roads towards a fancy restaurant.

The restaurant was loud and bustling as she pulled in.

The woman clad in ratty leather looked like a scene from a movie as she had parked her motorbike.

Only the man who dressed in a tuxedo worth the restaurant itself knew of her purpose here.

To gather the information he would provide her with.

Her boots thundered against the costly carpet.

Looking through the restaurant, she felt her shoulders go tight.

A place like this was his territory, with candles lining the tables, men in tuxedos and women in shiny dresses.

Each had a different, more expensive-looking drink than the last.

(She sat and leaned onto the expensive table cloth, forearms against it and her hands clasped firmly in front of her.)
She sat and leaned onto the expensive table cloth. Her forearms against it and her hands clasped firmly in front of her. 

After a long silence, she finally asked her question with a dead stare into his eyes.

“So, where is she?”

*ENDING*

This concludes the chosen alterations of the story and shows how I went from my first draft to the completed edition that I will not be showing. I’m sorry you had to read all of this and not get to read the final completed product that I have shown for my assessment. The final product amounted to 977 words total and was turned in as a part of the then, now, and later assessment.